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Friday, December 14, 2012

Emotional Vampies



Emotional Vampires: Dealing with people who drain you dry, by Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D. explores the underlying psychology of the manipulative selfish type
Learn more about Emotional Vampire 


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The term “Emotional Vampires” is only a convenience. Those who have earned the label have characteristics that actually point to personality disorders. “Emotional Vampires can turn themselves into whatever you want to see, but only long enough to lure you in.” And “they have very little idea of who or what they really are; they only know what they want.”
“Vampires Can’t See Themselves in a Mirror”
The notion of the highly aware, manipulative con-artist is not congruent with Emotional Vampires, who “play their role so well that they fool themselves into believing that they are who they pretend to be.” Inside, however, they are hollow, their insatiable urges filling out their personality and determining their behavior – for the moment. “Emotional Vampires have no insight.”
They are not evil but immature. Their narcissism causes them to believe that their needs are more important that anyone else’s. And these childish needs fly under the Emotional Vampire’s radar. “Throughout their lives, they see themselves as victims of fate and the unpredictability of others. Stuff happens and they just respond to it.” Thus, they never learn from their own mistakes.
The Way of the Emotional Vampire
Emotional Vampires are not typical people, and to believe that they experience their environment in the same manner that regular people do leaves one vulnerable to their manipulation. But they do have social rules that they follow: their needs always come first (they are predators); rules don’t apply to them; it is never their fault; they are impatient and want things now; and “when they don’t get their way, they can create a sumptuous array of miseries for the people who tell them no.”
Relationships with Emotional Vampires
Emotional Vampires are dangerous because they will drain others dry with their selfish needs, and (because they lack integrity) never take responsibility for their actions. They will confuse their victims with their half-truths and manipulation: “If you get too closely involved with them, you’ll hardly know yourself.”
How to Recognize the Signs
“Emotional Vampires often provoke strong and immediate reactions, both positive and negative. They’re the best or the worst, seldom anything in between.” It is important that one pay attention to the reactions one has in mind and body when interacting with a possible Emotional Vampire. For example, headaches and other negative reactions can be a signal the body sends when in the presence of a difficult person.
Once an Emotional Vampire has been identified it is up to the person to decide whether he or she wants to stick around and try to help the Vampire, retreat, or avoid contact to begin with. But real change is a tedious process that the Vampire will have to undertake in earnest.
Source:
Bernstein, Albert. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with people who drain you dry. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001.
Further Reading:
Organic Portals, Spiritless Humans, Empty People, and Drones
Copyright Sabrina Dawkins


Read more at Suite101: Emotional Vampires – Manipulative People w/ Personality Disorders | Suite101 http://suite101.com/article/emotional-vampires--manipulative-people-w-personality-disorders-a242065#ixzz2F2ZAe0qJ
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